The toe follow up

"Possible gout flare up newsletters" are the new "cheese sandwich for lunch blog entries"

I wasn’t planning on writing anything today, but kudos when they’re due: A week or two ago, I had just started writing regularly again and complained about my toe just beginning to hurt for no apparent reason.

Later, my buddy Burt H. reached out to me on Facebook:

Sounds like gout, dude. Get checked out, and don’t take Tylenol. Ibuprofen or Aleve only.

Well, shit. Yay Burt, for looking out for me! Boo, disappointing American dietary habits!

So, after going to an orthopedic urgent care center to make sure I didn't break a toe, I’m off to the doctor's first thing in the morning. I’m pretty sure they’ll analyze my blood under a microscope, see uric acid crystals the same way you see stalagmites in a cave, then demand me to go on a diet and exercise regimen so I can at least try to live half as long as my dad will.

Of course, right now as I’m writing this out, I am baking my very first lasagna. Honestly, it smells hella good because it's made from leftover meat sauce made before what I assu…