Earlier today, I met up with a friend for lunch at a cute little spot on Biscayne. And when I say “cute,” I don’t necessarily mean that to be cliche, but it’s one of those places where the exterior is pastel, and all salads have some sort of fruit in it, so all the food is super Instagrammable. That’s Miami: one big Instagram stock photo of beautiful people drinking cocktails to dancing to tropical house in a scene full of warm colors. The lunch itself was fine; good conversation, the salad had goat cheese, the couple the table over had their giant show dog lying on a blanket beneath them, one of those designer breeds that look like a poodle was put through a hormone injection program. I later learned the woman - sun hat, summer dress, and all - was feeding the dog scraps of raw meat. I’m going to assume she brought it from home, and didn’t, you know, demand raw meat from the kitchen to feed to her dog laying on the floor.

I wouldn’t be surprised if she did, though. Peak Miami, right there.

The biggest issue I have with the place is the name of the restaurant. Question for you, especially for the people who do not live in Miami: How would you pronounce this sign?

Maybe it’s because I’m from California, maybe it’s because it’s all capital letters, but when I see that sign, I say “LA Social.” You know, like Los Angeles. LA Lakers. LA Gear. Okay, sure, it’s a kinda douchey name of a restaurant, but not as bad as the now-closed Wynwood restaurant literally named “Mmmm,” so things could be worse, I guess.

I punch the address into Waze on my drive there. “In 500 feet,” the audio GPS says to me, “you’ll arrive at your destination: Louisiana Social.” Haha, I say to the GPS, you’re wrong!

Turns out I was wrong too. The restaurant isn’t LA Social, but La Social. As in, Spanish language for, um, “the social.”

This annoys me right now more than it probably should. Hey babe, I ask my partner, how would you pronounce that cute place on Biscayne where it takes too long to get our omelets, and everything’s served with raspberries?

You mean, La Social, he says? Perfect Spanish pronunciation: so-see-AL.

“I thought it was LA Social.”

“What? No. Why would you think that?”

What? Why wouldn’t I think that? Would I pronounce LA Fitness “la fitness?” Actually, now that I think about it, does everyone here call LA Fitness “la fitness,” and I’m just the last person to know? I probably am. This place, man, it’s weird.