Everything Will Be Fine

Two somewhat related stories about genetics, mental disorders, and walking on a Texas service road. Originally published 12/24/2014 but updated "recently."

Two or three months ago, I was diagnosed with adult ADHD.

“Not just ADD?” I blurt out. I was hoping for something a little milder, I guess.

“No,” Doctor Quesada says. He has a calm manner and looks up from his laptop as he talks to me with a softness to his voice, and he kind of reminds me of a slightly effeminate Latin Casey Kasem. “You do this thing with your fingers when you’re idle. I don’t even think you notice it. This stretching, wiggling thing.”

Kareem has told me the same thing. I picked it up once while watching a K-Pop video, and the girls did a complex tutting choreography with their fingers and hands which looked neat. Was I doing that throughout the day? A thirty-eight-year-old man probably shouldn’t be doing that, should he?

I tuck my hands between my legs and the couch I’m sitting on and suck in my stomach by instinct.

It shouldn’t be a …